


Your Flowers Will Finally Grow

by Rocknoutfrthdead



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Katara (Avatar), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Implied Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Mai (Avatar), Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, POV Mai (Avatar), Past Aang/Katara (Avatar), Past Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Post-Canon, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, irritating to lovers that should be a tag, justice for wlw avatar ships 2021, rated for language and descriptions of hanahaki symptoms, so if there's any mistakes pls tell me, which are coughing/vomiting/coughing blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocknoutfrthdead/pseuds/Rocknoutfrthdead
Summary: Mai has barely cared about anything, in all her fifteen years of living. So when the flower petals start to come, she's certain they mean nothing. Just a coincidence, or something she ate. Definitely not unrequited love.
Relationships: Katara/Mai (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 3





	Your Flowers Will Finally Grow

"The crimes of the Fire Nation will not go forgotten," Zuko had promised, on the day the war officially ended. "I will do everything in my power to restore the harmony that we destroyed."

He'd certainly kept his word, Mai grumbled to herself. It seemed like the once regal and silent halls of the Fire Nation's palace were always filled with the shouting and laughter of the Avatar and his friends. Mai couldn't stand them. The twelve-year-old Avatar was as irritating as any small child, and the little blind girl's ability to lie detect made her even worse than him. The two water tribe siblings seemed to be in a competition to see who could break Mai's patience first, between his bad jokes and her  _ mothering _ of everyone. Suki (the only member of the Avatar's group Mai could be bothered to learn the name of) was always trying to convince Mai to join the Kyoshi Warriors.

Mai had never wanted to be one of the good guys. Morals might guide the Avatar and his companions, they might even guide Zuko, but they'd never guided her. Now she was thrust into the middle of a group of good guys, and she honestly couldn't have thought of anything worse.

Zuko noticed her discomfort, of course. He was a good boyfriend, in his own awkward way, and Mai truly thought she loved him, even if his friends were getting on Mai's last nerves.

“Are you okay?” he asked her one evening. “You seem… annoyed.”

“Your friends seem to have that effect. They’re all children with annoyingly steadfast moral compasses.”

“Most of them are around your age,” Zuko said, “Plus, Aang is technically over one hundred years old.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “It’s not about age, it’s about maturity. Something none of them have. I feel like I’m a decade older than the whole lot of them, except maybe the Water Tribe girl. She seems like an old woman. Are these really the people you want by your side as a new, untrusted Fire Lord?”

“The girl’s name is Katara,” Zuko said gently, “And they might act immature, but each and every one of them has had to face the consequences of our nation’s actions personally. I can’t fix things without them, I don’t want to lose my way or make a wrong choice like my- like Ozai.”

Mai noticed the slip of Zuko’s tongue, the way he avoided calling Ozai his father, but didn’t comment on it. “This whole good person thing seems like a lot of work for you, Zuko. Things were easier before.”

“The easy way forward is the most damaging,” Zuko said. “That’s what uncle says, or at least what I think he said at some point.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it,” said Mai, turning away from Zuko to end their conversation. Somehow, the fact that Zuko had changed drastically from the boy she’d once known hadn’t fully sunk in until now. 

~

By wintertime, most of Zuko’s friends were gone. Only the Avatar and his girlfriend stayed behind, because according to Zuko he needed the Avatar’s help to sort out the world. Mai had to admit that foreign powers were much more receptive to Zuko’s ideas when the Avatar supported them, although she still wasn’t sure what Katara was doing here. Her brother and father were both in the Southern Water Tribe, helping to rebuild, and yet here she was, sitting next to Mai at dinner while Zuko and the Avatar chattered about some recently approved edict to pull Fire Nation troops out of some town in the Earth Kingdom. 

“So, uh… nice weather, huh?” Katara said, gesturing towards the walls. There were no windows in the Fire Lord’s dining room. “Might be,” Mai said, shrugging. “I wouldn’t know, I haven’t been outside today.”

“It’s so much warmer here than back home,” said Katara.

“Yeah, obviously. There’s a reason this place is called the Fire Nation.”

“Ha ha, very funny. I was just trying to make conversation,” said Katara. Mai smiled to herself. The water tribe girl was very easily annoyed, and Mai didn’t really have anything better to do but pester her.

“You should come up with something different to make conversation with. This is the fourth time this week you’ve mentioned the weather to me,” Mai said, delicately lifting some rice from her plate. 

“Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult if you made an attempt too.”

“Give me one good reason to do that.”

“We’re- I- You’re going to have to get used to me, you know. I doubt we’ll be done here for a long, long time.” 

“Yes,” Mai sighed, “That’s what I’m afraid of.” 

By now Zuko and the Avatar had noticed Katara’s raised voice, and the Avatar put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. Zuko gave Mai a look, but she shrugged it off. What was left of their dinner finished rather quickly and quietly. 

Katara and her Avatar retired to their rooms, and Zuko took Mai’s hand to lead her out into the palace gardens. “What is it with you and Katara?” he asked quietly, still loosely holding Mai’s hand. 

Mai tried to gather her thoughts, to explain that she liked to annoy Katara without sounding entirely rude. She was Zuko’s friend, after all, even if Mai didn’t like her much. “Well, you see, there’s this thing that- ah- _ choo!” _ Mai’s words were cut off by a forceful sneeze. A thin blue flower petal, verging on purple, floated to the ground in front of her.  _ Must’ve disturbed one of the plants, _ Mai thought. She hadn’t sneezed  _ that  _ hard, had she?

“These flowers give me allergies,” Mai said, waving a hand at the gardens. “Can we go inside, dearest Zuko?” she said it with sarcasm dripping from the words, but Zuko smiled anyway. 

“If you don’t want to tell me your problem with Katara, that’s fine. Just… give her a chance, okay? She saved my life, at the Agni Kai. I wouldn’t be here without her.”

“I’ll make sure to thank her, next time I have the misfortune of speaking to her.”

It turned out that ‘next time’ was the very next morning. Though Zuko and Mai slept in the same room, he was a firebender and rose with the sun. She was a normal person, and slept in as late as she could get away with. Zuko always left the curtains closed for her, and Mai slid them open just enough to see that the sun was already high in the sky. Zuko was probably already at his council meeting. Mai smiled at herself in the mirror as she ran a comb through her hair, working out the tangles and then carefully tying it up. Even though she wasn’t fighting anymore, she also gathered her knives and stowed them in their various secret pockets. 

Mai slipped down to the kitchens, planning on ordering one of the cooks to prepare her a late breakfast, when she heard raised voices. Someone else had apparently beat her to it. “Miss, I’m afraid these are professional kitchens! We can’t let just anyone barge in here and do what they feel like,” came the voice of the head chef. 

“And I’m afraid that none of you bozos can cook a sea prune to save your lives! If Zuko wants to serve multinational food at banquets, it needs to be  _ good. _ ”

Mai recognized that voice. Of course she did. It was Katara. Suddenly, Mai found herself more inclined to take the side of the chef. She pushed open the door to see a livid-looking Katara, her brow pinched in the way it always did when she was angry. 

When Mai entered, Katara groaned. “Not  _ you  _ again.”

Mai frowned. “And pray tell, what is your problem with me?”

“You’re coming in here to annoy me, just like you always do,” Katara said with a glare. Mai had to admit the girl could be fierce when she wanted to. The chef certainly seemed convinced by Katara’s intimidating gaze.

Unfortunately for her, Mai had been on the receiving end of many of Katara’s angry looks. She was invulnerable to it. “I’m not here to annoy you, Water Tribe. I’m here to get breakfast.”

Katara crossed her arms. “Yeah, right. This is the Fire Nation, everyone rises with the sun.”

Mai shrugged. “Not me. And not you, either, am I right about that?”

Katara sniffed. “I’m a waterbender. The sun is probably one of my least favorite things.”

“I begrudgingly agree with you on that one.”

“I can see that,” Katara said with a small smirk.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Mai, trying and failing not to sound defensive.

“You’re just so pale, that’s all. Even paler than His Highness.” 

Mai was surprised to realize that Katara said Zuko’s title with a healthy dose of sarcasm. She laughed. “Zuko spent years on the ocean, in the sun, pursuing you and your friends. I never got the chance.”

“As far as I recall, you and your friends had plenty of chances to chase us.”

Mai waved her hand dismissively. “Details, details. Would you join me for breakfast, Water Tribe? Apparently we’re both late risers.”

“Why would I do that? You don’t even know my name.”

Mai did know Katara’s name. In fact, out of all the Avatar’s friends, Katara’s name was the only one Mai had managed to remember. Well, there was Suki, but that was different. Ty Lee was always talking about her, so Mai had learned her name by accident. The fact that Katara’s name had stuck in Mai’s brain was probably more due to her being the only one who Mai ever talked to, but still. 

To Katara, she just said, “Of course I know your name, Water Tribe. I just prefer not to use it. Now, sit down, will you? We pay the chef for a reason.”

Katara huffed, but took a seat beside Mai at the small informal table in the kitchens. “Why do I not believe you?”

Breakfast with Katara was surprisingly enjoyable. Even though Mai spent most of the time prodding at the other girl’s sore spots, Katara seemed determined to get her back. And even though Katara’s attempts mainly made Mai laugh, she still found them endearing in a strange way. “You know, I’d think the Avatar might want you in his meetings,” Mai said, tipping back in her chair. “Aren’t you like his replacement mom?”

Katara’s face flushed a dark red. It was adorable, really, how easily she got worked up about the things Mai said. “I’m  _ not _ his mother _ , _ thank you very much. And Aang might be tolerated by the Fire Nation Council, since he’s the Avatar, but I’m a security risk. Or something like that.”

“Well, to be fair, you did nearly kill their crown princess. Can’t blame them for not trusting you,” Mai said, taking a small sip of water to wash down the food she could feel stuck in her throat. 

“Do you… are you angry about that? Is that why you don’t like me, because I hurt Azula? I only did it to save Zuko.”

Mai shook her head. “Trust me, you did me a favor. I’ve visited her since the incident and all she did was scream at me for abandoning her, making her lose her throne. That girl needed to get away from power.”

Katara leaned forward to look at Mai. Mai tried to avoid her concerned gaze, but Katara wouldn’t stop trying to meet Mai’s eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened to her. I’m sure she meant a lot to you,” Katara said.

_ She’s mothering me, _ Mai thought. She knew Katara did it to all her friends, her brother, her boyfriend, even Zuko sometimes. That comforting tone, the unbreakable eye contact, things Mai had noticed a million times. Things Mai had never expected to be directed towards her.

“Azula was complicated,” Mai said quietly, unsure why exactly she was opening up but determined to follow through. “She was always intimidating, but there was a time when I thought… maybe she might love me. Love us. Me and Ty Lee, we both cared about her a lot. Turns out it was manipulation, but it hurt just the same.”

“I’m sorry,” Katara said, reaching out a hand to cover Mai’s. “I know how it feels, to be used. I know it too well.”

“It wasn’t her fault,” Mai said. “That’s what hurts the most. She only did it because she had no idea how to make friends.”

The last of what Mai thought, but didn’t say, hung in the air between them.  _ Neither do I. _ Katara seemed to understand, though. She gave a tentative smile, and Mai returned it. Katara stood and opened her arms. “You want a hug, Fire Nation?” 

Mai couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at this. She got to her feet and accepted the embrace. Katara was warm, her arms surprisingly strong. The loopies in her hair tickled Mai’s cheek. When Mai pulled away, she sneezed. 

“Been that long since you’ve had a hug?” Katara asked playfully. Mai resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Neither girl noticed the blue petals that fell to the floor after Mai brought her elbow away from her face. 

~

“I’m going to be leaving the palace for a few days, maybe a week. You’ll hold down the fort while I’m gone, right?” Zuko said while Mai did his hair. 

“Don’t worry, dearest Fire Lord, Katara and I won’t let the place burn down while you’re away. Would you stop worrying?”

Zuko sighed. “I can’t believe I’m leaving. I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to, but-”

“What did I just say? We’ll be  _ fine.  _ Suki and Ty Lee will be here soon, and all of us are perfectly capable of defending ourselves.”

“What if there’s a coup? There are still sympathizers to my- uh, I mean, to Ozai in the city. Some of them might even be in the palace right now, just waiting-”

“If I were staging a coup, I’d probably want to kill the Fire Lord. And the Avatar, if I had the chance. We’re probably safer with you gone.”

Zuko still didn’t seem convinced, but Mai didn’t particularly care. He and Aang were supposed to visit the Fire Sages in their newly rebuilt temple, for some sort of firebender exclusive ceremony. It really wasn’t far from the palace anyway, and Zuko would be able to get back within a few hours if he flew on the Avatar’s bison, but he was still unreasonably anxious about the whole thing.

Mai, on the other hand, was excited. Ty Lee was finally visiting, and she would get to spend time with her best friend while also not spending time thinking about how her relationship with Zuko grew consistently more confusing. 

He sat in front of her, rigid in his seat as she adjusted his hairpiece. He looked nice, from an objective standpoint, but Mai couldn’t shake the thought that there was something missing. According to Katara, boyfriends and girlfriends weren’t like this. Mai and Zuko hardly kissed, and Mai couldn’t recall a single time when she’d really  _ wanted _ to be Zuko’s girlfriend. She liked him, of course, but as a friend or a lover? 

Mai shoved those thoughts to the back of her mind and stepped back, allowing Zuko to admire her handiwork. “Thanks, Mai. You’re the best,” he said, standing. “Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.”

Mai smiled and gave Zuko a small hug. “I’m not making any promises.”

~

Mai woke to rain the next morning. She made her way to the kitchens, where Katara was already seated at their usual breakfast table. “Nice weather, huh?” Mai said, taking a seat beside the other girl. Katara swatted Mai gently on the shoulder. “You’re almost as funny as Sokka.”

“Which one’s Sokka, again? The blind earthbender?” Mai said, though she knew by now that Sokka was the name of Katara’s boomerang-wielding brother. 

Katara didn’t respond with laughter, but she also wasn’t exasperated, which meant there must be something else bothering her. “You… okay?” Mai asked hesitantly. 

“It’s my birthday tomorrow,” Katara said, looking wistfully out the window. “Aang said he was sorry to miss it, and I know he’s got more important things to do, but it still sucks that I’m spending it alone.”

“Hey, hello? Have you forgotten about someone?” Mai said, gesturing to herself.

Katara rolled her eyes, a habit Mai noticed she’d adopted ever since they’d begun to not hate each other. “Oh great, a birthday with the girl who doesn’t like me. No offense, Mai, but I’d rather spend the time with my boyfriend.”

Mai felt a cough coming on, and turned away from Katara to cough into her sleeve. She frowned at the thin blue petals that rested in the folds of the cloth.  _ Did someone drop my clothes in a flowerbed or something? _ Mai thought, annoyed. 

“Are you alright?” Katara asked. Mai nodded.

“You know how this season is, can’t go a few days without catching a cold. I’ll be fine. And so will you, Miss Water Tribe. Suki and Ty Lee are arriving today, and we’re throwing you an all girl party. No objections,” Mai added, seeing the look on Katara’s face. “You can’t spend your birthday alone, that’s downright depressing.” 

When Suki and Ty Lee arrived, Mai and Katara went down to the docks to greet them. It was still raining, but Katara simply bent the water away from herself and Mai as they made their way to the boat. 

Mai waved up at Ty Lee, who vaulted over the edge of the small boat to wrap Mai up in a big hug. “Mai!!” she squealed, and Mai grinned. “It’s so good to see you! Kyoshi Island is amazing, I have so much to tell you about.” 

The four of them walked back to the palace, Ty Lee’s arm linked with Mai’s as they trailed behind Suki and Katara. “I missed you so much, and I tried to write, but they keep us so busy! Suki’s so tough, she’s like a total badass. I thought Kyoshi Warrior training would be a piece of cake, but it’s hard! Look at my callouses,” Ty Lee said, holding up a hand. “Those metal fans are no joke. Anyway, how’ve you been here?”

Despite the cold day, and her cough, Mai felt warmth spread over her limbs. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed Ty Lee until now. “I’ve been good. Katara and I are actually friends now, if you can believe it.”

“Oh, I can! Suki tells me so much about her. Well, Suki actually talked more about Sokka, at least until they broke up, but I can tell she also thinks Katara is great.”

“Hold on, Suki and Sokka broke up? Why?”

“Something about being better as friends? Suki didn’t cry at all. She told me that she loves Sokka but just not in the way that she wants to kiss him or marry him or whatever?”

Something about that description hit a little too close to home for Mai.  _ I want to kiss Zuko, _ Mai argued to herself.  _ I’ve kissed Zuko at least twice.  _

Ty Lee had moved on, and was talking about the first time she managed to beat Suki in a fight. Mai listened to her friend talk and her eyes trailed to Katara, walking in front of her. Her hair loopies swung gently in the wind, and Mai wondered absently what she looked like without them. In all her time in the palace, Mai had never seen Katara without them. She felt something tighten in her chest.  _ I hope this is just a cold, _ Mai thought, coughing into her sleeve. Was it normal for a cold to make your lungs hurt this much? 

“Oh, are you okay?” Ty Lee asked, and Mai nodded. “Just a cold is all,” she said, shaking more blue petals from her sleeves.  _ Seriously, did they roll it around in a field of flowers or something?  _ Mai wondered irritably. She would have to have words with the servants. Zuko was always too soft to confront them about things like this. 

“Anyway, like I was saying, Suki told me that in the old stories Avatar Kyoshi was, like,  _ in love _ with a girl. And I was like wait what? How is that possible? But Suki says that on Kyoshi Island it’s normal and girls are girlfriends  _ with each other. _ How cool is that? I don’t even have to date a boy if I don’t want to. I could date a girl.”

“Ty Lee, come on. That stuff is, you know.  _ Illegal. _ ” Mai said in a whisper. “The Fire Nation doesn’t allow sexual perversions.”

Ty Lee frowned. “Yeah, I know that, but doesn’t that mean weird stuff? Like, creepy-weird? The way Suki talked about it made it seem the same as guys and girls being together.”

Mai shook her head. “It’s wrong, Ty Lee. You know that. They always told us that back in school, and I mean, it’s  _ against the law. _ ”

Ty Lee shrugged. “Maybe it shouldn’t be. We have plenty of stupid laws here, wasn’t that part of the reason Zuko needed to take the throne? Hey, maybe you can convince him to change those laws!”

Mai sighed, and let Ty Lee launch into a whole new monologue about how amazing Kyoshi Island was. It wasn’t that Mai  _ personally  _ thought there was something wrong with liking girls, but she’d worked so hard to get over that phase of her life and was still uncomfortable talking about it. Once, she thought she was in love with Azula. Look how that turned out. Clearly, she was better off with Zuko. Better off with a man. 

The truth was, Zuko had brought up the anti-gay laws before. He’d asked what Mai thought about them, but she had panicked and told him that they seemed fine to her. “I mean,” she’d said to him that night, “animals in nature aren’t… like  _ that, _ right? Which means it’s probably unnatural and wrong. Yeah. Those laws should stay.”

The logic Mai had used then was logic that had been drilled into her head since childhood. It was logic she used on herself whenever she’d caught herself staring a little too long at one of her girl friends, whenever she’d slip into dreams of kissing Azula or, more recently and most treacherously, lingering thoughts of Katara. She wasn’t allowed to think about Katara’s wide blue eyes, or about the adorable way her face would scrunch up when she got annoyed, or how the sunlight caught in her brown hair, because that was all unnatural and wrong and what was Mai thinking, anyway? She had a boyfriend, an objectively handsome one, and she loved him. Whether that love was romantic or platonic didn’t matter. She didn’t like girls. She  _ couldn’t. _

That evening, Mai forgot about her internal argument because she was busy having a good time. Suki was surprisingly fun to talk to, much less mushy than most of the Avatar’s group. She had a lot of questions about Mai’s knives, and Mai showed off their sleek aerodynamic design. Suki seemed impressed. “We should spar sometime,” she said.

Ty Lee laughed at that. “Look out, Mai. Suki wants to beat you up,” she teased.

“Tomorrow is Katara’s birthday,” Mai announced to the table later in the evening. “We need to do something. Katara, what do you want to do?”

Katara seemed a little uncomfortable with all the attention on her. “Well, whatever you all want to do is fine with me. I really-”

“Oh, come on!” Ty Lee exclaimed. “Surely there’s  _ something  _ you want to do? How about practice fighting? Or, ooh, we could go to the beach?”

Katara seemed embarrassed when she said, “what about, like, a spa day? I’ve had enough practice fighting to last an entire lifetime.”

Suki grinned. “I could use some relaxation time,” she said. 

“I could paint your nails!” Ty Lee said excitedly, grabbing one of Katara’s hands. “Mai has a  _ ton  _ of nail polish, right?”

“Mostly in black, but yeah, we could do that,” Mai said. “You all should come to the royal chambers tomorrow. There’s way more room there than I need, even when Zuko’s around, and there’s an actual indoor pool in one of the bathrooms.”

“Forever a nation of excess, huh?” Katara said, and Mai worried for a second that she’d been insensitive. But Katara just laughed. “I was messing with you, Mai! Oh, you should’ve seen your face. Suki, did you see? She was  _ so  _ embarrassed.”

Mai watched Katara laugh, the golden candlelight reflected in her ocean blue eyes, and felt the strange pain in her chest spread. 

That night, Mai brushed blue petals from her clothes and left them in a pile on the floor. She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her hair out of its buns. She felt another coughing fit coming on, and she didn’t bother to cough into her elbow. A spray of now familiar blue petals cascaded from her lips to the floor. She was hit by a sudden realization.  _ They’re coming from inside me. _ Mai had no idea what that meant. Flower petals in her throat? Maybe she’d just eaten something odd. Maybe tomorrow the other girls would admit the same symptoms, and they’d all laugh it off together. She convinced herself not to worry, and lay down to sleep, letting herself drift into unconsciousness. 

~

The next day seemed to go by in a blur. She ate breakfast with the other three girls, they swam around in the pool-slash-bath, they had lunch, Katara got a short letter from her dad and an impossibly long one from her brother wishing her happy birthday. Suki got the chef to bake a cake for Katara, and she smuggled it up to Mai’s room, where they all sat on the comically large Fire Lord’s bed and Mai painted Katara’s nails. 

“Are any of you in love?” Ty Lee asked, shooting a glance at Suki that Mai didn’t miss. “Of course!” Katara said. “I love Aang. He’s so sweet, and always kind, and just the perfect boyfriend.”

Mai tried to suppress the cough that came after Katara’s words. She let the flower petals drop to the ground, trying not to let anyone else see them. “What about you, Mai?” Suki asked, mouth full of cake. “How is it dating the Fire Lord?”

Mai hesitated, wondering if she could trust them. “I- to be honest, I’m not sure that we are dating. I mean, we definitely are, but I don’t know if we should be. I don’t think I really like him in that way, you know?”

Suki nodded empathetically. “Yeah, I totally get it. That’s how it got with me and Sokka. Like, he’s cute, and I definitely liked him at one point, but the crush just wore off, I guess. I’m not sad about it, that’s just how life goes.”

_ But what if there was never a crush in the first place?  _ Mai thought, but didn’t say. She wasn’t going to expose all her secrets. Plus, just because Suki and Ty Lee were okay with girls liking girls, it didn’t mean Katara was. 

Mai finished painting the nails on Katara’s left hand and placed it gently on the bedcovers, taking her other hand. “Stay still,” she warned.

“What about you, Ty Lee?” Katara asked. “Do you have anyone?”

Ty Lee blushed a bright pink. “Yes, I do,” she said. Mai had a sneaking suspicion of who that someone might be.

Katara raised an eyebrow. “Well, tell us! Does he live on Kyoshi Island?”

“Yeah, they live on Kyoshi Island. We talk a lot, actually, but I don’t know if they would like me in that way or if we’re just friends.”

“Oh, come on. You’re gorgeous. No guy could resist,” Katara said, gesturing vaguely at Ty Lee’s face with her left hand. 

“Hey, don’t wave your hand around! The polish is still drying,” Mai said.

Ty Lee smiled. “I appreciate it, Katara. Mai, what do you think?”

Mai glanced up at her friend, and then across the bed to where Suki sat obliviously cutting herself another slice of cake. “I think… you should tell them?” Mai said hesitantly. “I mean, you’ll never know until you try.”

Ty Lee giggled. “That’s what I hoped you’d say. I really want to tell them but I’m worried we won’t be friends anymore if they don’t like me.”

Mai was a little tired of all this romantic talk, especially when she could see clear as day that Ty Lee was talking about Suki, so she sighed loudly and opted not to answer the question. Ty Lee just continued asking questions, oblivious to the fact that Mai was tuning her out.

Katara shot Mai a glance in solidarity, as if to say,  _ single people, am I right? _ Mai felt the corners of her lips twist up into a smile, like they so often did around Katara. “All done,” she said, screwing the cap back onto her bottle of nail polish. Katara held up her hands. 

“It looks amazing, Mai,” she said, and Mai could tell she meant it. “Just don’t touch anything for a few minutes, it’s not all dry yet,” Mai warned, before standing to put the bottle of nail polish back into the bathroom cabinet. She also coughed up some more flower petals, but that was irrelevant. 

All of them stayed up late into the night, something Mai hadn’t gotten to do in forever. Zuko was always falling asleep soon after sunset, and she hadn’t had friends like this in… probably forever.

Mai didn’t know when she fell asleep, but she did remember Katara’s head resting on her shoulder while she rambled about something. She remembered rolling her eyes at the same time as Katara, and collapsing into giggles at their similar reactions. She remembered struggling to breathe. 

~

It was the final nail in the coffin that was her relationship, to Mai anyway, that the week Zuko was away was one of the best weeks she’d had in a long time. They were going to have to break up. Ty Lee and Suki left on the day before Zuko and Aang were slated to come home, and Mai spent nearly the entire day without them around agonizing about whether she should tell Zuko the whole truth, or just break things off and leave, or maybe not do anything at all. Until Katara knocked on her door, armed with a smile and a basket of food, to invite Mai to have a picnic in the gardens. Mai agreed, even though she hated the sun. 

They settled under a broad tree, spreading the food between them. Katara lay on her back, looking up at the wide cloudless sky. “It’s never this nice at home in the spring,” she said, turning to look at Mai. 

“I guess it is warm. I don’t know, I never really noticed the weather. Until you started talking to me, that is.” 

Katara snorted. “Don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for you, Mai. This weather isn’t something you can take for granted.”

Mai laughed. “Thank you, dearest Katara, for pointing out that the sun shines sometimes. I really needed that. I have no idea where I’d be without you.” 

Impulsively, Mai punctuated the last sentence by poking Katara’s nose gently. “Hey!” Katara exclaimed, but she was smiling despite her indignation. Mai thought privately that there was nothing the sun could do to compare to Katara’s smile. 

They sat together under the tree in the gardens for what felt like forever, warm tingles spreading across Mai’s body every time she made Katara laugh. The sun began to disappear from the sky, and Katara stood. “That was fun, Fire Nation. You’re really nowhere near as bad as I thought.”

Mai grinned. “Was that supposed to be a compliment?” she asked, and Katara rolled her eyes in response.  _ I’m so fucked,  _ Mai thought.

~

Mai slept through Zuko’s arrival. She’d spent the last night coughing up flower petals in the bathroom, until she finally gave up trying to clear out her throat and passed out in bed. She woke up to the sounds of Zuko rustling around in the room, trying to quietly put away his belongings without waking her. She sat up in bed, intending to greet him, but ended up coughing instead. Zuko turned around, looking concerned.

“Good morning, Mai. Hope I didn’t wake you,” he said, smiling. Mai really didn’t want to hurt him, especially when faced with how darn happy he looked, but she was nearly certain at this point that there was nothing Zuko could ever do to compare, romantically, to a girl. 

She could do nothing to hide the flower petals from him, her throat  _ burned _ as she hacked and coughed and tried desperately to speak. They fluttered to the dark red comforter, standing out in their bright blue-purple color, a stark reminder to Mai that she still had no idea what was causing this. 

She looked up, finally able to breathe, to see that Zuko had gone very pale. “What?” she asked him irritably. 

“Mai, how- do you know- it’s not because of me, is it?”

“I don’t think so, unless you’ve been feeding me flowers. I don’t even know what’s going on, to be honest. I just started coughing up flower petals. I thought it would get better with time, but it's getting worse.”

The look Zuko gave her was impossibly sad. “Are you alright, Zuko? You look like you might burst into tears.”

“Mai, if I’m not mistaken, and you should really hope that I am, because this is  _ bad, _ you have hanahaki disease. It’s… I didn’t even know it was real, but if I’m right, you won’t get better with time. It’s fatal.”

Mai had never really considered herself scared of death, but her heart was pounding and she could feel the blood rushing in her ears. She felt the bed dip below her as Zuko climbed in next to her, wrapping an arm around her. Tears came to Mai’s eyes, she couldn’t help it. “Zuko,” she said, and couldn’t say anything more, because the coughing was back, and she watched helplessly as blue petals fell from her lips. 

Zuko just held on to her, not saying anything, until Mai hacked up one last half cough, half vomit, and a whole flower practically erupted from her mouth onto the bed. The thin petals were somewhere between blue and purple, while the very center of the flower was a bright yellow.  _ How cruel to die at the hand of something so beautiful, _ Mai thought. 

Zuko squeezed her tight, and Mai leaned into the embrace, burying her face in his robes. “What’s hanahaki?” she asked, her voice raspy.

“Well, it’s usually used as a plot device in romantic plays, that’s where I recognized it from. The disease is supposedly caused when someone is suffering from unrequited love. The flowers grow in your lungs until they finally take over and choke you to death.”

Mai shuddered, pressing herself further into Zuko’s chest. “Is there no cure?”

Zuko frowned. “Well, hanahaki usually goes one of three ways: either the victim dies, they get the flowers removed but suffer extreme brain damage causing them to forget the person they loved, or the flowers go away if the love is reciprocated.”

Mai groaned. “I guess that means… you’ve probably figured it out by now, but it means I was right. I was planning on breaking up with you.” 

Zuko nodded. “Do you know who it is?” he asked, and the tears gathering in Mai’s eyes finally began to fall because she did. In hindsight, it should’ve been obvious. “It’s Katara,” she sobbed. “I’m in love with Katara, don’t hate me Zuko.”

Zuko, still holding her, asked, “why would I hate you?”

_ Because I’m supposed to be your girlfriend. Because I’m supposed to love you. Because she’s a girl, and I’m a girl, and even though I’m dying from it I still can’t accept that I’m in love with another woman. _ She didn’t get to say any of that, though, because her lungs hurt and she started coughing again. 

“I’m sorry, Zuko,” Mai said miserably, brushing blue flowers off his bed. “I tried to love you like that, but I don’t think I ever could. Not just you, but any man. I-I’m gay. I know it’s wrong, but-”

Zuko gave her a small smile, though she could see he was a little bit hurt. “It’s not wrong, Mai. I’m actually- well, I’m not gay, but I’m bi. I get where you’re coming from, I guess. And I kind of thought there was something going on with you, since our relationship never really felt romantic, but I didn’t want to say anything and make it awkward.”

Mai laughed a little, despite everything. “Maybe this whole thing would’ve never happened if we’d just talked to each other,” she said, and Zuko nodded. 

“You said that you think the hanahaki is from Katara?” he asked, and Mai nodded. “I don’t want to talk about it. She’s taken, and besides I don’t even know if she would be okay with me liking girls, and I can’t let her think… I don’t want her to suffer because of me. I can’t tell her.”

“Would you forget her? If there was a way to remove the flowers?”

Forget Katara? Leave behind the few fond memories they had together, of picnics in the sun and sleepovers in the Fire Lord’s chambers? Forget her face, her voice, forget all the mannerisms Mai had memorized?  _ Your only other option is to die, _ Mai told herself, and she nodded to Zuko. “If you can find a way, I’d go through with it. Even though it might hurt. There’s no other option, right?”

“I’ll talk to the physicians, and we can see if there’s some scientific basis to this. You’ll be okay,” Zuko said, and Mai desperately wanted to believe him. 

~

The next few days passed by in a haze. Mai went into various appointments with the court physicians, had her lungs tested and vomited flowers onto the floor when they told her that hanahaki disease wasn’t a real thing. Zuko was there when he could be, but he was usually busy with meetings, so Mai went into most of the appointments alone. Eventually the physicians relegated her to bed rest, telling Mai to save her strength. She wanted to scream at them that sleeping wouldn’t help, that she needed the flowers out of her lungs, but no one would listen and she couldn’t scream if she tried.

Mai spent her time reading manuscripts of plays involving hanahaki, unable to hold back her own morbid curiosity. Most of them were tragedies, ending in someone being choked to death by cherry blossoms in a back alley or staring into the face of a person they once loved without any reaction. Those that ended in the disease being cured generally didn’t go into specifics, choosing instead to focus on the emotional tragedy of forgetting someone you loved. 

Mai preferred to read the ones that ended in death. 

To Mai’s disappointment, Katara didn’t visit her during the period of bedrest. She spent most of the time alone, or with Zuko. Ironically, they spent more time together now than they had when they’d been dating. He would read letters to her, mostly from his uncle or from Sokka, and she would force down food while she listened. 

A few weeks into her worsening condition, Zuko barged into the room while Mai was barely awake. “Go away,” she groaned when the door opened, throwing a pillow in his direction. Zuko let the pillow land in front of him and kicked it to the side, sitting down at the foot of the bed. 

“I have good news! I wrote to Sokka about your lungs, and he told me that the Northern Water Tribe has a whole healing school and everything. If anyone can help you, it’s them.”

“You told Sokka about… all this?” Mai asked. “You know he’s her  _ brother, _ right?”

“I didn’t tell him everything, just that you were really sick. And he can keep a secret. Anyway, that’s not the point of all this. Would you be up to journeying to the North?”

Mai bit her lip. She couldn’t imagine anyone in the Northern Water Tribe would be ecstatic to help out someone who was Fire Nation, but she didn’t have any other option. The condition of her lungs had gotten exponentially worse under the care of Zuko’s physicians. “Yeah, I guess. You’ll go with me, right?”

Zuko took her hand, and Mai knew he was about to give her bad news. “I can’t. Their princess, Yue, gave up her life because of me. Sokka said… well, he heavily implied that they would be hostile to  _ anyone _ from the Fire Nation, but especially me. We haven’t had nearly enough time to get them to trust us.”

“Does that mean… Katara will have to go with me,” Mai said. Despite everything, her heart leapt at the thought. 

Zuko nodded. “It’s your choice whether or not you tell her what’s going on, but she’s the only Water Tribe person we have around. Which should probably change soon, actually, I was hoping to get ambassadors from- forget that. It’s not important. Do you want me to ask Katara?”

Mai shook her head. “I can do it. I’m not completely incapacitated yet.”

Zuko didn’t say anything in response, even when Mai stumbled to her feet and had to catch her breath just walking to the door.

Mai found Katara in the gardens, sitting by the turtleduck pond. She was bending the water between her fingers, and Mai watched her for a moment from the shadows of the palace. There was a gentle smile on her face as one of the turtleducklings swam towards her. Mai inhaled a breath as deep as she could before walking out to greet Katara.

“Hey, are you messing with the turtleducks?” Mai said, trying to keep her tone casual. “Zuko’ll have your head for that.”

Katara looked up, eyes widening in surprise. Her face broke into a smile. “Mai, where’ve you been? I missed you.”

Mai wondered briefly if she should come up with a lie, but she figured it wouldn’t be that bad to let Katara know she was ill. She just didn’t need to know the whole story. “I’ve been sick,” Mai said.

“Oh! Do you want me to help? My talents are mostly in healing wounds, but I could-”

Mai shook her head. “Thanks for the offer, but it’s really bad. Zuko’s physicians haven’t been able to make any progress. He told me- well, it was actually your brother, but apparently I need to visit the Northern Water Tribe to find a cure.”

Katara’s eyes seemed unfathomably sad for a moment, but the look faded and Mai wondered if it had even been there in the first place. “I’ll go with you,” she said, reaching out to put a hand on Mai’s shoulder. “Zuko is right, the healers in the North are the best in the world. They’ll be able to help you.” 

Mai tried to summon a faint smile, purely for Katara’s benefit, but instead ended up coughing. She turned away from Katara, letting the flowers fall to the ground. At this point, whole flowers were more common than the singular petals she’d started out coughing up. There wasn’t any use in trying to hide it, not if they would be travelling together, but Mai still felt embarrassed. Katara noticed, though. She was always observant, especially when it came to other people.

“Did those come from you?” she asked, glancing from the flowers to Mai. 

Mai nodded miserably. “It’s a disease called hanahaki. I’ll keep coughing up flowers until I die, or until I’m able to get the cure.”

“You won’t die. You’re too stubborn for that,” Katara said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself than anything. Mai shrugged. “That’s up to you now, Water Tribe.”

~

Mai and Katara left the next day, on one of the refurbished war balloons. The girl who operated the balloon was mostly quiet, not asking any questions when Mai had to lean over the edge to vomit flowers. Katara tried to fill the silence by telling Mai about the Northern Water Tribe, which Mai found interesting if a bit old fashioned.

The story of how Katara, her goofy boomerang-wielding brother, and the barely trained Avatar had fought off an entire fleet of the Fire Nation navy was incredibly impressive. Apparently Zuko had also gotten involved, which didn’t surprise Mai in the slightest. Just like it didn’t surprise her when Katara said she’d fought off Zuko for an extended period of time with far less training than him. Both of them were unreasonably stubborn. When Katara told her about Yue, the Northern princess who’d sacrificed herself to drive off the Fire Nation, she suddenly understood a bit better why Zuko had refused to come with her. That was one wound of the war they’d (rightfully) take a long time to forgive him for. 

As night fell, they landed the balloon to sleep. They’d made good progress, according to the balloon technician. Katara cooked for them that evening, and Mai ate what she was given, even though it hurt to swallow. She didn’t want to concern the other girl any more than she already was. 

It was cold out in the night, especially since Mai wasn’t used to sleeping outside. Katara fell asleep almost instantly, emitting small noises that weren’t quite snores. Mai tried to mirror her breathing, but it was just too damn cold. She pulled the edge of her sleeping bag up over her head, trying desperately to block out the outside air, but found that it was even harder to breathe. 

Eventually, Mai must’ve fallen asleep, because she woke up in the morning feeling surprisingly warm. She blinked slowly, seeing that the sun was just beginning to rise. That was one of the curses of sleeping in the outdoors: there was no chance of getting a good night’s rest. Mai stood and searched for the food in their packs, warming it up for Katara. She didn’t think she would be able to stomach any food this morning.

Mai sipped a cup of tea slowly, watching the sun rise until it was fully over the horizon. She glanced back at Katara, who was still asleep. “She’ll have to wake up soon, if we want to make good time,” said the balloon technician, who was already up and beginning to pack their camp. 

Mai didn’t want to disturb Katara in her peaceful state, but she knew that every minute they spent doing nothing was a minute in which her condition got worse. She put down her half-finished cup of tea and knelt on the ground beside Katara, nudging her shoulder. “C’mon Katara, wake up. We need to go.”

“Five more minutes, Aang,” Katara whined, turning onto her other side. Mai poked her again. “It’s not Aang, it’s Mai, remember? Wake up, I made breakfast for you.”

Katara half opened her eyes at that. “Seriously?”

Mai laughed at her surprised expression. “Yeah, seriously. I’ve been up since dawn and had nothing better to do, it’s no big deal.”

Katara sat up and pulled Mai into a hug. “Thank you,” she said.

Mai, caught by surprise and unsure what to do with her hands, patted Katara’s back awkwardly. “It’s really nothing.”

“Tell that to my brother. And Aang. And Toph. I spent nearly a year travelling with them, and yet I can’t recall a single occasion when one of them cooked for us of their own free will.”

Mai laughed. “Maybe I’m just a better friend,” she joked. Even though her chest was still in pain, Mai felt butterflies in her stomach at the other girl’s laugh.

~

The balloon left Mai and Katara in a small coastal town, as close to the North Pole as you could get while still being in the Fire Nation. Katara went down to the docks to try and find a ship that could take them to the Northern Water Tribe, and Mai insisted on following her, even though she knew she wouldn’t be much help. 

Katara spoke to the captain of a small, wooden vessel. Mai stared apprehensively at the ship’s sails. She’d been on the water before, of course, but the Fire Nation’s ships were mostly powered by fire. This flimsy boat didn’t seem like it would be able to make it across the rough ocean waters. 

Katara seemed to think it was adequate, though, because she told Mai that they’d be leaving on the ship in two days. “They sail directly to the capital of the Northern Water Tribe, where the healing school is. It’s a cargo ship, but they’re willing to take passengers.”

Mai paid for a small room at an inn by the harbor, and promptly fell asleep, even though it was barely mid-day. When she woke up, Katara was there, offering her a bowl of hot soup. “I ordered from one of the restaurants in the harbor. And don’t say you’re not hungry, you haven’t been eating.”

Even though she’d napped, Mai still felt exhausted, so she just nodded and sat up, taking the bowl from Katara. “Thanks,” she said, swirling the contents of the soup around with her chopsticks.

“If I’d known you were sick, I would’ve visited you,” Katara said suddenly, looking at her hands. “I would’ve visited you even if you weren’t sick but I had things going on.”

Mai glanced at her in confusion. “It’s fine. I was pretty miserable the whole time anyway, it wouldn’t have been fun.”

“I just feel like you’re mad at me,” said Katara. She fidgeted with her hair, waiting for Mai’s response.

Mai wasn’t mad at Katara, she was mad at herself. Angry that her own body had betrayed her like this, manifested a fictional disease because she couldn’t get over a girl who was already taken, for spirits’ sake. 

“The disease I have, it’s called hanahaki. No one really knows much about it, because it’s supposed to be fictional. Zuko told me that it’s caused when you love someone who can’t love you back, and he said… even if I do get better, I’ll forget the person who caused it.”

Mai felt like she owed Katara this much of the truth. They were friends, and Katara had been worried for her. This was the least she could do. 

The look on Katara’s face was a lot like Zuko’s had been: filled with sadness and pity for Mai. “I’m so sorry,” Katara said.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not, but I’m willing to go through with the procedure. Even if it means I have to forget someone close to me.”

“I’ll be here Mai, just remember that. I’ll help you get better.”

_ The thought that it could be her didn’t even cross her mind, _ Mai thought bitterly. It wasn’t like she wanted Katara to know, but somehow it still felt like a betrayal. 

Mai gave a weak smile. “Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.”

She meant it. Even though Mai knew she would have to forget this shared moment and all the ones before it, she could still hope, right? 

~

The walls of the Northern Water Tribe were magnificent. Mai was wrapped in a slightly too small coat of Katara’s, shivering in the northern air, when they first came into view. Huge blocks of ice, rising from the ocean and towering above their little ship. Katara placed a hand over Mai’s on the ship’s railing. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” 

Mai nodded. “They remind me of you,” she said. Katara giggled. “In what way, exactly?”

Mai felt blood rush to her cheeks. “Well, they’re blue. And cold? Also strong.”

Katara rolled her eyes, knocking against Mai’s shoulder gently with her own. “Thanks, Mai. You’re quite the charmer, as always.”

Mai didn’t say anything, just watched as the waterbenders atop the walls split the ice in two, creating a path for the boat to sail through. Katara’s hand was still over hers, and though they both wore mittens, Mai was still hyper aware of the contact. 

Katara must’ve mistaken Mai’s expression for anxiety, because she said, “It’ll be okay, Mai. The Northern Water Tribe healers are the best in the world, they’ll be able to heal you.”

Mai nodded. “I don’t doubt that. They taught you, after all, and you’re the best waterbender I know.”

“I’m also the  _ only _ waterbender you know,” Katara pointed out, “but point taken.”

“Aang’s a waterbender, isn’t he?” Mai said. “You’re better than he is. At waterbending, I mean. Obviously he’s got you with the other three, and in the Avatar State he’s… unnaturally powerful, but still.”

Katara laughed. “I’m his master, of course I’m the better waterbender.”

Mai nodded as if she was just figuring this all out. “Ah, I see. So the master of the master of the Avatar must be truly something. Should I be terrified right now?”

Katara snorted a laugh. “Pakku? He’s basically like my grandpa. Not terrifying at all. He’s also not a healer, so you probably won’t meet him.”

“Can’t all waterbenders heal?”

“Not really. It’s a specialty thing, like lightningbending or metalbending. Pakku used to make the waterbenders here divide into normal bending for boys and healing for girls, but what he didn’t realize was that not everyone has the same aptitude for healing. Who knows, if he let the groups mix, the North could’ve been even stronger.”

Mai sighed. She’d experienced her fair share of idiotic men as a young fighting prodigy in the Fire Nation, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise to hear about the North’s archaic traditions, but still. Anyone who looked at Katara and thought she couldn’t fight was obviously out of their mind. 

They docked, and Katara thanked the ship’s captain profusely. Mai lingered by her side, trying to suppress her coughing for the entirety of their exchange. She didn’t quite succeed, and the captain looked at her strangely when she scurried away to cough into the water. 

Katara led Mai through the icy streets of the Northern Water Tribe’s capital. Mai was utterly lost, what with all the crisscrossing canals and bridges and identical blue buildings, but Katara knew her way around. They eventually arrived at a large igloo, outside of which there were a few young children seated, bending water in front of them. “This is the healing school,” Katara explained to Mai. 

A woman with brown skin and blue eyes a slight shade darker than Katara’s seemed to be the teacher, standing in front of the children and twisting her arms in a demonstration. Mai watched quietly, a little entranced by their flowing movements. Katara just stood still beside her, a faint smile on her face. 

When the woman finally noticed Katara, her face broke into a wide grin. “Why, is that young master Katara? Tui and La, it feels like it’s been forever!”

Katara seemed confused, but returned the smile. “Yes, it’s me. I actually came-”

The woman appeared not to hear. She was addressing the kids now, waving a hand excitedly at Katara. “This is her! The youngest waterbending master in history, travel companion to the Avatar himself, hailing from our very own tribe!”

“I’m from the Southern Water Tribe, actually,” Katara grumbled, but the woman waved her off.

“Details, details. Our tribes are one people, if you look back into history.”

“The history I choose to look back at is quite recent,” Katara said coldly, “And what it shows me is that your tribe abandoned ours.”

“Katara,” Mai hissed, “Maybe now isn’t the best time?” The sentence was cut off by another coughing fit, which accidentally drove her point home, though that hadn’t been what Mai had been intending. Blue flower petals fell to the ground, and Mai noticed that they were speckled with blood.  _ Definitely not a good sign, _ she thought.

Katara glanced at Mai, and sighed. “We’ll table this discussion for another time, I suppose, but only because I have something more important to speak to you about.”

Mai blinked. She hadn’t expected that single sentence to get Katara to stand down. The other girl usually wasn’t one to back away from an argument. “Can we speak inside?” she asked, glancing at the small children. 

The healer woman seemed to notice Katara’s severe tone, and she said in a cheery voice, “Run along home now, kids. Tell your parents practice ended early, and be back here tomorrow morning!”

She then turned to Katara. “What’s the issue?”

“Well, it’s actually my friend here, Mai. She’s suffering from a disease… what was it called again, Mai?”

“Hanahaki,” Mai rasped, mind still reeling from the blood on the flowers from earlier. 

The woman looked shocked. “The sickness of the empty heart? Oh, dear. That’s not good.”

“Have you seen it before?” Katara asked, her voice hopeful. “Do you have a cure?”

“That depends, really. If the disease is in its early stages, then yes. But if it has progressed for long enough, or if it has been accelerated by the victim’s own thoughts, it might be fatal.”

Katara frowned. “Her own… thoughts? How could that be measured?”

“From what limited study we’ve been able to do, the flowers that grow during a case of hanahaki are connected to a certain part of your mind, namely the part occupied by thoughts and memories of the one you’re in love with. That’s why removing the flowers also removes those memories, and is also why we hypothesize that the more one thinks about how the subject of their love will never love them back, the worse the disease gets.”

Well, fuck. Mai hadn’t had much else to do during her weeks of bedrest other than think about how Katara could never love her back. That wasn’t a good sign. She tried not to let the fear show on her face, though, because both Katara and the healer woman were watching her closely. 

“I can look at the damage,” the woman offered, “although the flowers aren’t fed by water like normal plants, so it can be hard to really tell their extent. Waterbending is much more suited to external injuries.”

Mai nodded. “That would be great, thank you… I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name?”

“My name is Yagoda. You’re in good hands here, dear. Just follow me when you’re ready,” she said, giving Mai a tight smile and then turning to enter the igloo.

Mai took a step towards the igloo, but Katara reached out a hand to stop her. “What is it?” Mai asked.

“You said, and Yagoda said, that you’re suffering from… an empty heart? One sided love?”

Mai nodded. 

“Would you tell me who it is? That you’re in love with?”

Mai could feel the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, the flowers crawling their way up her throat. She let her bangs fall over her eyes, unable to look at Katara.  _ It’s you, _ something inside her screamed,  _ I’m in love with you even though you have a boyfriend and probably don’t like girls and even disregarding those things, still wouldn’t like  _ me.

She just shook her head. “I can’t tell you, Katara. I’m sorry. You don’t- I- It’ll just make everything harder for everyone.”

Katara looked a little hurt, but she gave a small smile and wrapped Mai in a hug. “Alright, it’s your business. I’m going to visit Pakku, but I’ll be back for you soon, okay?” she said.

Mai wasn’t a smiler on the best of days, let alone on days when her lungs were full of flowers and she was on the verge of bursting into tears. Still, for Katara, she tried. It was a halfhearted smile that didn’t reach her eyes, but it seemed to be enough. The other girl gave Mai a warm look that could’ve melted through the Northern Water Tribe’s ice walls and then walked off, leaving Mai to enter the healing igloo alone.

Inside, Yagoda was seated on a small stool beside a shallow tub of water. “For this type of healing, it would be best for you to be completely submerged in water,” she said, gesturing to the pool. Don’t worry about your clothes, I can bend the water out of them afterwards.”

Mai nodded and laid down in the water, letting it flow over her body. It was surprisingly warm, though she felt odd getting in the water fully clothed. Yagoda rolled back her sleeves and placed her hands in the water. “Relax, dear. I won’t be doing anything, we’ll simply assess the extent of the hanahaki. How long have you been suffering with this, exactly?”

Mai thought back to the week Zuko had been gone. It had definitely started before then. That first breakfast with Katara, maybe? No, that wasn’t it. There had been that now-familiar blue flower petal that had settled on the path on her walk with Zuko after dinner. Spirits, that was months ago at this point. 

“I sneezed up a flower petal a few months ago, but it only started getting really bad a month after that,” Mai said. “The physicians had me on bedrest, but nothing was improving, and then someone said I should go North for healing, which took us around a week.”

She had to stop her explanation then, because her throat was burning and it was nearly impossible to speak. Yagoda pulled her hands out of the water as Mai started to cough, petals scattering across the small tub. Mai gave one last cough, letting a whole flower drop out of her mouth. There was blood on it, that stood out against the yellow center. She was surprised to see it floating on the water. 

Yagoda stared at the bloodstained flower. “It’s red,” she said in disbelief. “Is that what I think it is?”

Mai nodded. “Blood. It’s only been happening since this morning though, I swear.” 

“You’re worse off than I thought,” Yagoda said. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do. My apologies, Mai.”

Mai sat up in the water to stare at her. “What do you mean, you can’t do anything? I thought you were the best healer in the world!”

She couldn’t die. Not when she was so close to happiness. Even if she would’ve had to forget Katara with the cure, she’d known that she would still have Ty Lee, and Zuko. She would’ve still had her whole life ahead of her. Agni, Mai had never done anything but fight in a war for the first fifteen years of her life. She wanted to try something  _ different, _ and now… Mai let her head drop into her hands. She didn’t want to die. 

“Your affliction is unique. Hanahaki doesn’t follow the ways of most diseases: it’s mysterious, seemingly random in its victims, and generally disobeys all the laws of the natural world. Do you know why we call it the sickness of an empty heart?”

Mai shook her head, barely able to concentrate on Yagoda through her spiraling thoughts. 

“We call it this not only because of the cause, but because of the symptom. It’s theorized that in the final days of someone suffering from hanahaki, the flowers will grow into their heart and deal the final blow. They are trying to fill the empty space where the loved one should be.”

How was she supposed to respond to that? Mai just pulled her knees into her chest, taking shaky breaths and trying desperately not to cry. She managed to pull herself together after a couple of moments, at least externally. Everything was still a mess inside.

Her only way out of this horrible situation was gone. She was doomed to die. Because Katara, kind, stubborn, beautiful Katara, would never love her back. In Mai’s whole life, she was pretty sure she’d only been loved in that way by one person. Zuko had loved her, because they were both alone in the world. He’d needed her, because he had no one else. If only she could’ve loved him back. But no man could ever fill that ‘empty heart’ of hers. 

Mai could tell Katara, sure, but that would only accelerate her imminent end. Disregarding all outside factors, Mai knew that she wasn’t Katara’s type. Mai was a villain, someone who had stood on the side of a nation that had decimated Katara’s people. She was apathetic, unfeeling, and had been so bored with the world that she hadn’t minded watching it burn. Katara was the opposite of that: she was a hero, strong and stubborn and emotional. She was caring, protective, filled to the brim with passion Mai had never been able to find in herself. 

Katara would never fall in love with her.

Which meant Mai’s only choice was to die. 

~ 

Katara came back for her, guided her out of the igloo to sit on a bench in a park somewhere. Mai felt like she was in a trance, just waiting for death to come for her. She wanted to go home, to see her friends. She wanted to stay here in the cold with Katara. She wanted it to all be over. 

Mai felt the tears that had been building up finally start to fall, along with more coughing and more bloodstained flowers. Katara rubbed her back and stayed close, not saying anything. Mai was grateful: she doubted that she’d be able to speak in this condition. 

Eventually, the coughing fit passed, and Mai wiped away her tears with a mittened hand. She felt Katara’s arm wrapped around her, and leaned into the other girl. “Sorry for… you know,” Mai said miserably, nodding at the ground. “Yagoda said… nothing she can do. ‘M gonna die, Katara.”

Katara just squeezed her tighter. Mai was surprised to see tears in the other girl’s eyes. “Don’t be sorry, Mai. It’s not your fault. Is there anything I can do?”

Mai thought about it, and then nodded. “Take me home. Zuko. Ty Lee. I want them… I want to see them.”

Katara nodded. “We’ll take a boat. Just the two of us. I can waterbend the ocean, make us go faster. Do you want to write to Zuko and tell him about… everything?”

Mai swallowed. “Sure. Yeah, that would be great.”

“I’ll go see about a boat. There’s a messenger hawk station around the corner, they’ll let you send something.”

Mai got up, which took a monumental amount of effort, and made her way to the station. She scrawled out a short note, telling Zuko in as clinical terms as possible that she was dying and would be returning home soon.  _ PS, _ she added at the end,  _ can you tell Ty Lee and invite her to stay at the palace? I want to see her one last time. _

~

Mai had been on the receiving end of Katara’s stubbornness many times, having faced the other girl in battle. She recognized the determined glint in Katara’s eyes as they navigated the boat out of the harbor, something she had once thought was a mix of terrifying and quaint. Now, being the one Katara was determined  _ for, _ she felt more safe than anything. She completely trusted that Katara would get her home before she died.

The journey back was much rougher than the journey there, with Katara bending the waves and currents around their small boat but still unable to be awake twenty four hours a day. Mai tried to steer while Katara slept, and mostly stayed in charge of navigation since the other girl couldn’t read a map to save her life, but movement was becoming more and more of a struggle. Mai had been healthy before the hanahaki, but now she was panting for breath just walking across the deck of the ship. 

Katara tried to help, but she couldn’t do everything. Mai worried that she would pass out from exhaustion, with how hard she was working.  _ Is it really worth it,  _ she thought about asking, before scrapping that idea because Katara would probably say it was. Which would send Mai into another spiral of thoughts about how great she was, and how stupid it was that she was going to die and never see Katara again.

Mai actually had a lot of time to spiral throughout the journey, since Katara was so focused on manipulating the ocean waters. She was somewhat used to this scenario, being left alone with her thoughts while others around her were busy. Her parents had never been the type to reach out for conversation.

That was one of the things Mai would agonize about: her family. Though she’d never really felt that close to them, had barely spoken to them since the war’s end, she wondered if her death would affect them. Would they even know if she died? Would they care? They’d probably mourn, but in the way any noble family was expected to. She thought back to Katara’s tears in the Water Tribe city, of Zuko’s sad look when she told him what she was suffering with. Somehow, it was hard for her to believe any of her blood relatives would react like that. 

Mai drifted into unconsciousness after that, and didn’t wake until the sun was in the sky. When she finally opened her eyes, any lingering thoughts of her family were driven away by the sight of Fire Nation islands in the distance.

~

Mai draped an arm around Katara when they docked, struggling up the hilly terrain to the palace’s back entrance. The guards recognized them both and let them through. It was late at night, so they moved as quietly as possible, though Mai was coughing and she was sure she must’ve woken at least a few people on her way to her room. 

They passed the door to Zuko’s chambers, and Mai was surprised to see light coming from under the door. Must’ve been a busy night for the Fire Lord. Mai got to her door and felt like she could’ve cheered. The distance from the docks to the palace was especially arduous when one was suffering from flowers in the lungs.

Mai expected Katara to leave once they reached her rooms, but she instead followed Mai inside. The room had been cleaned up, and there were a couple of comfortable looking chairs placed nearby the bed.  _ Zuko’s doing, _ Mai thought. 

Katara took a seat in one of the chairs, and it dawned on Mai that she wasn’t planning on leaving. “Katara,” she rasped, “You don’t have to stay. I know you’re” - and here Mai stopped for a moment to cough - “you’re tired. And you’ve already done so much.”

“I don’t want you to be alone,” Katara responded.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it. You need rest.”

Katara glared at her. “ _ I _ need rest? What about you? Focus on yourself, I’ll be just fine.”

Mai wasn’t exactly in the mood to argue, so she just crawled under the covers. “Promise you won’t stay up all night,” she said. “Go get Zuko or something if you don’t want me to be alone, but just because I’m suffering doesn’t mean you have to.”

Katara didn’t respond, but Mai realized that was because she’d fallen asleep in the chair. Mai struggled to her feet and draped a blanket over Katara’s shoulders. “If you-”  _ cough _ “-have a backache tomorrow, don’t-”  _ cough _ “-blame me,” Mai whispered, laying a hand on Katara’s arm briefly before practically falling back into bed.

~

The next morning, Katara was gone. In her place was a boy who looked a lot like her, and was staring at Mai with fascination. “Oh, you’re awake!” he said, and Mai realized he must be Katara’s brother, Sokka. What was he doing here?

“Zuko was here, he went to get tea for when you woke up, but he’ll be back soon. And Katara was really worried about you, but I convinced her to go to sleep. I’m Sokka, by the way. But I think you know that?”

Mai, with her half-asleep brain, barely processed half of what Sokka said, and just nodded. 

“So, uh, hanahaki, huh? Zuko told me that here they think it’s fictional, but I’ve seen it happen in the Water Tribe. Funny, it was actually Katara’s ex-girlfriend’s mom who-”

Mai thought her heart might’ve just stopped beating for a moment. “Katara’s ex  _ what? _ ” she asked, stunned. Surely he hadn’t said what she thought he’d said?

“Oh yeah, her ex-girlfriend! She’s one of the other girls in the South, obviously. Do you think that’s weird? Zuko told me about some… anti-gay Fire Nation law, or something? But he said that he abolished it. Don’t tell me you disagree with that. I’d feel kinda bad for insulting a sick person, even if they were homophobic.”

Sokka talked a lot, Mai noticed. She preferred his sister. “No, that’s not… I just didn’t know she was into girls.”

“Oh!” said Sokka. “Well, I guess I can see how that might come as a surprise, since you’ve only known her when she was dating Aang. Although a lot of us in the Southern Water Tribe go both ways. It’s way less of a cultural taboo there than it is here, or in the North.”

Mai felt like she might have a little bit of a headache, on top of all the pain in her lungs. Sokka had just dumped a ton of information onto her, and was seemingly oblivious to the fact that his words had just fractured Mai’s worldview.

Just then, Zuko came through the door carrying a tray of tea, and thank Agni for that. He poured Mai a cup, placing the tray on her bedside table. She sat up in bed, eyes following Zuko as he closed the door behind Sokka. “Hey, Mai. How’re you feeling?” Zuko asked.

She ended up retching on the floor in response. A bunch of flowers crawled their way up her damaged throat, making it feel even worse. She spat them out and tried not to look at how much blood was amongst the purple-blue petals. 

“I’m great,” she said dryly, sitting up to look Zuko in the eye. Normally, he might chuckle at her sarcasm, but today he just looked sad. 

Zuko sat down in one of the chairs beside her while Mai drank her tea. “I got your letter a few days ago. Ty Lee is on her way, and if there’s anything else I can do for you, just say the word,” he said. 

Mai coughed, then said, “You’re the Fire Lord I’m sure you have more important things to do besides look after me.”

Zuko’s eyes flicked momentarily to the closed door, and said, “actually, I’ve had more free time recently. Sokka’s been here as the ambassador from the Southern Water Tribe, but he’s also been helping me out with some of my work.”

“Don’t you worry that he might” - _ cough- _ “be working to further his own agenda?”

“Our agendas are the same, when it comes down to it. We both want peace that will stick around. Plus, he’s my friend.”

“He talks a lot,” Mai observed, which made Zuko smile.

“Yeah, he’s a rambler. I like that about him.”

Mai decided she wouldn’t comment on the way Zuko’s face went pink when he complimented Sokka. That would probably mark her as a massive hypocrite.

She sat with Zuko and let him talk to her, though they lapsed into silence more than once. A knock came on the door, and Zuko stood to open it. Katara, Sokka, and Ty Lee stood on the other side, holding various dishes of food. “I thought we could all eat together,” Katara said, smiling at Mai. 

Ty Lee pushed past Zuko to give Mai a hug, nearly causing Mai to drop her teacup. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you were sick?” she asked. “I would’ve- well, I’m not sure what I would’ve done, but-”

Mai pulled away from the embrace to cough, flower petals scattering over the covers. “I thought I was going to get better. Turns out that’s not happening.”

She thought that reassurance would make Ty Lee feel better, but she looked like Mai had just punched her in the stomach. It was hard to see her perpetually happy friend like that. “Hey,” Mai rasped, squeezing Ty Lee’s hand. “You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

All four of the others gathered by Mai’s bed, spreading out the food on the floor. Katara and Zuko took turns trying to get Mai to eat, but her throat was so sore that it hurt to swallow. She managed to force down a few bites when Katara actually  _ glared  _ at her, but other than that Mai just drank tea and let the others talk.

Sokka was saying the most, despite being the person there that she knew least. Katara kept rolling her eyes at him, and every time he made a particularly awful joke would shoot Mai a look as if to say  _ see what I put up with?  _ Ty Lee seemed to find him funny, though. Between the two of them, there wasn’t a silent moment during that lunch. Zuko was considerably less talkative than the others, but he seemed relaxed. Even though they were all aware that they were hanging out beside Mai’s deathbed, they all seemed determined not to let her last days be depressing ones, which Mai appreciated. When Zuko eventually had to leave for a council meeting, Sokka followed him out of the room as well, despite Zuko’s protests that he would be fine on his own. 

“I should probably let you two talk,” Katara said, standing. “I’ll be back tomorrow?” 

Mai smiled. “Thanks for lunch, Water Tribe. Your brother is… not entirely terrible.”

“Yeah, well, if you’d grown up with him for fifteen years, you might think differently,” Katara said, but there was affection in her voice. 

Katara closed the door behind her, leaving Mai and Ty Lee alone together. Mai felt a wave of nausea come over her, and she quickly pulled the vomit bucket Zuko had provided closer. She threw up what was mostly liquid, but also a bunch of half-digested flowers. She’d realized that the more she suppressed the coughing, the more flowers ended up in her stomach, but she hadn’t wanted to ruin lunch.

“I guess eating was pointless, huh?” Mai said, poorly attempting to lighten the mood when she finished throwing up. 

“I can’t believe you’re going to die,” Ty Lee said, eyes downcast. “There really is no cure?”

Mai hesitated. “Technically, there is, but it involves something that’s… impossible.”

“What? And you aren’t even going to  _ try _ ?” Ty Lee shrieked.

“I told you, it’s impossible. The healer in the North said that hanahaki is a disease that doesn’t follow the laws of nature, and she was right. The only way I won’t die is if-” she hesitated for a split second, torn about whether or not she should tell Ty Lee the truth, but decided she had to. They’d been through so much together, they could finish things together too. “The only way I won’t die is if Katara falls in love with me. Hanahaki is the illness of an empty heart.” 

Ty Lee blinked. “That’s it?”

“What do you mean, that’s it? Have you met Katara? Have you met  _ me _ ?”

“Have you at least tried telling her?”

“No way, Ty Lee. Not happening.”

“Then how will you know for sure that she won’t love you back?”

Mai doubled over into a cough, watching miserably as blue flower petals blanketed the bed. She didn’t even bother to brush them off. “I know because she’s with someone. If I told her that, it might- what if I hurt her? I don’t want her to feel responsible for me dying. Anyway, she won’t break up with the Avatar.”

Ty Lee gave Mai a strange look. “She’s not with Aang.”

First Sokka casually saying Katara liked girls as well, now this. Was she dreaming? Another cough racked her body, and Mai decided that she probably wasn’t. 

“What do you mean, she’s not with him?”

They broke up! Nearly two months ago, at this point. Seriously, didn’t you go to the North Pole together? This didn’t come up  _ at all?” _

Two months ago. Mai had been on bedrest then. What had Katara said?  _ I would’ve visited, but I was busy. _ And come to think of it, Mai hadn’t seen Aang at all since her return, or on the day she and Katara left. 

“Well, that still doesn’t matter, because even if she  _ is  _ single, there’s still the matter of her needing to be in love with me. Which will never happen. So just… leave it alone, okay?”

Ty Lee crossed her arms. “Fine. But nothing will ever happen if you don’t try. Just… think about it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but I’d much prefer it if my best friend didn’t die.”

Ty Lee left, and Mai was alone with her thoughts. She turned over what her friend had said, trying to think about the possibility of telling Katara. She would say something about how beautiful the other girl was, maybe. Or mention Katara’s strength. Cite how they’d grown close over a short amount of time. And then how would she respond? Mai’s mind kept coming up blank. 

Maybe part of the problem was that Mai had never confessed her love to anyone. Zuko had said he liked her, and she’d gone along with it, figuring he was good looking enough. Most of her life had been spent under Azula’s control, which meant very little socialization with other kids her age. And anyways, being gay had been illegal for most of her life. There was no guarantee that if she admitted her feelings to Katara, the other girl wouldn’t just laugh in her face. 

For some reason it was much easier for Mai to picture everything going wrong than it was for her to think about a positive outcome. Even when she eventually fell asleep, her mind wouldn’t stop: she dreamt of a million different Kataras, surrounding her and leaving her and glaring at her. A million different Kataras, not one of them loving her back.

~

Things had gotten significantly worse during the night. When Mai woke up to a knocking on the door, and tried to call out, “Come in!” she was stopped immediately by the scratchy feeling in her throat, and started coughing up flowers. At this point they were more red than blue, she noticed miserably.

The knocking on the door ceased, and Katara came in. She hurried over to Mai and knelt on the floor beside her bed, taking one of her hands. Mai squeezed it, continuing to cough for well over a minute before settling back down into her pillows. “It’s gotten worse,” she wheezed. “A lot worse.”

“Didn’t Yagoda say something about it being accelerated by your thoughts?”

Agni, of course. She’d spent all of last night thinking about how Katara could never love her, and now here she was, practically unable to speak, panting for breath, staring down at flowers dripping in blood. “Yeah, I forgot about that,” she said.

Katara surprised Mai by sitting down on the edge of the bed instead of the chair, not letting go of Mai’s hand. “Is the person this is all about, the hanahaki and the thoughts… be honest with me here, Mai, because there’s really no point in lying, but… “

Mai felt her heart rate pick up. Had Katara figured it out? Had Mai been too obvious? She realized she was still holding Katara’s hand and hastily dropped it. 

“Is it Ty Lee?” Katara finished, and Mai blinked at her in confusion.  _ Ty Lee?  _

Katara was looking at her expectantly, waiting for an answer. Mai couldn’t quite read the emotion in her eyes. “No, it’s not. Ty Lee is my best friend, and I love her, but not like that. It’s… someone else.”

Katara chewed on her lower lip, as if picking out her next words very carefully. “I care about you a lot. If you would just tell me who the person is you’ve fallen for, I could help you. Let me help you, please, Mai, I can’t just watch you die.”

Her voice was trembling by the end, and Mai wished she could do what Katara wanted from her. She considered it, thinking it over, but she must’ve taken too long, because eventually her eyes closed and she felt Katara’s weight on the bed disappear and heard her footsteps making their way to the door. “If you really, truly can’t tell this person, I understand,” Katara said at last, her voice coming from the doorway. “Whoever they are, they’d be lucky to have you. I don’t know- it might be none of my business, but you keep telling me that you can’t tell me and I think it’s because you’re afraid of being happy. That’s bullshit, Mai. You might’ve been my enemy, but I-” Katara broke off her sentence then, and Mai heard her sniffle slightly, as if she’d started to cry. “You’re my friend now. You were raised in the Fire Nation, and controlled by Azula, but that’s not all life has to offer. There’s happiness out there for you, there’s a future for you, I know there is.”

Mai opened her eyes, turning towards the door, but it was already shut. She was gone. And Mai didn’t know if she would ever be back. 

~

Zuko visited, and Mai asked him for a brush and paper. Even that small amount of effort caused her lungs to heave and the Fire Lord left her room brushing bloodied petals off his robes. 

Time was ticking down, Mai could feel it. Every breath was painful, staying awake was nearly impossible. She forced herself to write out the words anyway. 

No one else was there when Mai collapsed. It was late at night, the entire city was asleep. She fell over the scroll in her hands, spilling ink everywhere. The black mixed with the red of Mai’s blood and the blue of the flowers.

If someone had forced Mai’s mouth open at that moment, they would have seen vines entangled in the back of her throat. Her chest barely moved, her heart barely beat. 

~

_ Katara _

Katara had left Mai’s room fully intending to never come back. Late that night, however, she couldn’t resist stopping by Mai’s room to check on her.  _ She’ll probably be asleep, _ Katara thought.  _ I’ll just make sure she’s okay and then leave. _ Okay was relative, of course. Mai was still dying, but Katara hoped it would be slow. Or that maybe this whole hanahaki thing was a fluke and Mai would be just fine in a couple of weeks. 

It had been stupid of Katara to try and pressure Mai into telling her who she was in love with, but it hurt to see her like that, barely able to speak. It hurt more than Mai being deeply in love with someone who wasn’t Katara. She’d just wanted to find a way to make things better for someone she loved. 

Mai was beautiful. She was untouchable. She was fierce, and quiet, and Katara thought she wanted to be kind but didn’t quite know how. She noticed the way Mai barely talked about herself or her past, the way she would give Katara her full attention whether Katara was telling war stories or complaining about the weather. Mai was confusing, hard to explain, Katara’s feelings towards her even more so. She hadn’t quite realized she was in love with Mai until they were in the South Pole together, and Katara found out that she was going to die. In that moment, Katara had desperately wished that she could fill Mai’s ‘empty heart’ Yagoda had spoken of.

Of course, that wasn’t how any of this worked. Hanahaki couldn’t just be cured from someone else's love, it had to be the person Mai was in love with. 

Katara pushed open Mai’s door gently, to see her slumped over, a pool of dark liquid on the floor beside her. She rushed forward, panicking, wondering if somehow Mai had started bleeding in the night, when she realized the liquid was black ink. There were flower petals floating in it.

Katara closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened her eyes to reassess the situation. Mai’s fingers were stained with ink, and she was lying awkwardly on the pillows, as if she had fallen asleep while sitting up. There was a piece of paper on her lap, along with a discarded ink brush. 

Katara delicately picked up the paper, moving to roll it up until she noticed that it was addressed to her. Frowning, she decided to read Mai’s letter. 

_ Dear Katara, _

_ I really don’t know how to say this. Or why I’m saying it, really. Everything inside me is telling me this won’t end well, but I guess… parts of what you said got to me. I’ve never really been happy, I’m not even sure I know how to do that. Refusing to say anything was part of that, I’m realizing.  _

_ I don’t know if you’ll get this letter in time for me to survive, but this isn’t about that. I mean, I would like to stay alive, but even if I don’t, I still think I owe you this. Because we’re friends, and because you believed in me. I mean, this is a long shot. Even if I’m not dead by the time you read this, that still might mean nothing. _

_ I’m putting this off, I can tell. But might as well say it. I wish I could tell you in person, but my voice hasn’t been working.  _

_ It’s you, Katara. I’m in love with you. _

Katara felt the note slip from her fingers to the floor. She didn’t even read the rest of it, just reached out to shake Mai’s shoulder. “Mai,” she said urgently, “Mai, please wake up.”

There was no response.  _ This can’t be happening, please, she can’t be dead, _ Katara thought. She had to find a way to heal the damage the hanahaki had caused just a little bit, just long enough for her to tell Mai that she loved her back. 

Katara kneeled on the bed, placing a hand on Mai’s chest. She reached out with her bending, trying to feel for something she could fix, but could only feel the blood flowing in Mai’s veins. There wasn’t anything physically damaged in her, nothing that Katara could change with her healing, but she tried again anyway, hoping for some wound to close, some easy solution to this mess.

Her bloodbending senses reached out alongside her healing ones, which always seemed to happen since that fateful night with Hama under the full moon. Katara suspected that if she wanted to, she could bloodbend even without a full moon. Not that she ever would, considering that the thought of it made her want to vomit. 

Everything inside of Mai seemed to be relatively fine, but Katara noticed that she had a lot more veins in her chest than most people would. She frowned and concentrated harder, feeling along the lengths of the extra veins.  _ Not veins, _ Katara realized,  _ flower stems.  _ The flowers caused by the hanahaki were being fed not by water, but by Mai’s blood. 

The flower stems had worked their way up Mai’s throat and out of her lungs into her heart. That was the final stage, the thing that marked death. Katara had been too late.

Or had she?

The flowers were fed by blood, were  _ made  _ from blood. Maybe a Water Tribe healer couldn’t move them, but Katara could. If it meant Mai’s life, she would go through with it. 

“I’m sorry for what I’m about to do,” Katara whispered to no one, “but there was no other way.”

~

_ Mai _

There was nothing, and then there was pain. Mai’s eyes flew open. Something inside of her felt like it was writhing, crawling. “Ow,” she said, moving a hand to her ribs.

“Thank Yue, it worked,” said Katara.

Katara? 

Mai blinked, barely able to see in the faintly moonlit room. Katara was kneeling on the bed beside her, hands raised in some sort of waterbending motion. 

“What are you doing?” Mai asked, staring. “Fuck, did you see the letter? I didn’t-”

“Mai!” Katara said, halfway between a yell and a sob. “You can’t die. You won’t. I-I’m in love with you, too.”

The pain in Mai’s chest lessened. “You do?”

Katara’s eyes were wet with tears, and she just nodded.

Mai looked up at her, glowing in the moonlight, and reached up to kiss her.

~

The next day, Mai and Katara sat down for breakfast together, at their small table in the kitchens. Their hands stayed linked for the entire meal. 

Fire Lord Zuko barged into the kitchens, flanked by Sokka and Ty Lee. He pushed past the kitchen staff until he spotted them. “Mai?” he said, “You shouldn’t be out of- oh. Oh!”

“I told you it would work out!” Ty Lee exclaimed, a huge grin plastered on her face. “The two of you are cute together.”

Mai grinned back at her, though really she hadn’t been able to stop smiling since last night. “You were right, as always,” she said, glancing at Katara. 

“Am I the only one who has no idea what’s going on?” Sokka said, glancing between Mai and Katara.

“I’ll explain it to you, idiot,” Zuko said, grabbing Sokka’s hand and dragging him from the room. “Let’s let them have their moment.” Ty Lee leaned down to hug Mai, before following Zuko and Sokka out of the room. 

“This isn’t the first time Sokka hasn’t had any idea what was going on,” Katara said, and Mai giggled in response. Not because the joke was particularly good, but because she couldn’t remember ever being this happy, and she wanted it to last as long as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic is from Garden by Meet Me @ the Altar, an incredible band i recommend you check out. I also think the song fits this fic really well. I actually have a playlist for Mai and Katara [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3gayKJHFTGfEmqeOOq0JND?si=DKAyIGffTKm1OD9YMOW9Fg) ;)
> 
> Hope you liked this fic! Mai and Katara are a rarepair but I honestly love them. All my favorite avatar ships are red character/blue character and bender/nonbender (those ships being Maitara, Korrasami, and Zukka) because that basic dynamic and visual contrast is great.
> 
> The flowers Mai has growing in her lungs are supposed to be blue water lilies, aka blue Egyptian lotuses, which are a quite pretty blue-purple color and can also apparently get you high. I thought that, along with the name, was a fitting flower to sort of represent Mai being in love with Katara. You know the saying "love is like a drug" or whatever? yeah. I know hanahaki is usually with cherry blossoms but I just really wanted the flowers to be blue. 
> 
> If you had a good time reading please leave a comment, it would make my day <3


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